LIGHTENING THE BURDEN
Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. The dark past is the key to life and happiness for others.
-Alcoholics Anonymous, p.124
Since I have been sober, I have been healed of many pains: deceiving my partner, deserting my best friend, and spoiling my mother’s hopes for my life. In each case someone in the program told me of a similar problem, and I was able to share what happened to me. When my story was told, both of us got up with lighter hearts.
CENTERING OUR THOUGHTS
When World War II broke out, our A.A. dependence on a Higher Power had its first major test. A.A.’s entered the services and were scattered all over the world. Would they be able to take the discipline, stand up under fire, and endure?
-As Bill Sees It, p.200
I will center my thoughts on a Higher Power. I will surrender all to this power within me. I will become a soldier for this power, feeling the might of the spiritual army as it exists in my life today. I will allow a wave of spiritual union to connect me through my gratitude, obedience and discipline to this Higher Power. Let me allow this power to lead me through the orders of the day. May the steps I take today strengthen my words and deeds, may I know that the message I carry is mine to share, given freely by this power greater than myself.
THE GIFT OF BONDING
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 63
Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bonding – with those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.
THE GIFT OF BONDING
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 63
Many times in my alcoholic state, I drank to establish a bond between myself and others, but I succeeded only in establishing the bondage of alcoholic loneliness. Through the A.A. way of life, I have received the gift of bonding – with those who were there before me, with those who are there now, and with those yet to come. For this gracious gift from God, I am forever grateful.
A RIDDLE THAT WORKS
It may be possible to find explanations of spiritual experiences such as ours, but I have often tried to explain my own and have succeeded only in giving the story of it. I know the feeling it gave me and the results it has brought, but I realize I may never fully understand its deeper why and how.
-AS BILL SEES IT, p. 313
I had a profound spiritual experience during an open A.A. meeting, which led me to blurt out. “I’m an alcoholic!” I have not had a drink since that day. I can tell you the words I heard just prior to my admission, and how those words affected me, but as to why it happened, I do not know. I believe a power greater than myself chose me to recover, yet I do not know why. I try not to worry or wonder about what I do not yet know; instead, I trust that if I continue to work the Steps, practice the A.A. principles in my life, and share my story, I will be guided lovingly toward a deep and mature spirituality in which more will be revealed to me. For the time being, it is a gift for me to trust God, work the Steps and help others.
BRINGING THE MESSAGE HOME
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , pp. 111 -112
My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they are – just as I love and accept A.A. members – fosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting other’s personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.
SEEKING EMOTIONAL STABILITY, p.243
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself. We found that dependence upon His perfect justice, forgiveness, and love was healthy, and that it would work where nothing else would. If we really depended upon God, we couldn’t very well play God to our fellows nor would we feel the urge wholly to rely on human protection and care.
-12 & 12, p.116
All my life I depended on people for my emotional needs and security, but today I cannot live that way anymore. By the grace of God, I have admitted my powerlessness over people, places and things. I had been a real “people addict”; wherever I went there had to be someone who would pay some kind of attention to me. It was the kind of attitude that could only get worse, because the more I depended on others and demanded attention, the less I received. I have given up believing that any human power can relieve me of that empty feeling. Although I remain a fragile human being who needs to work A.A.’s Steps to keep this particular principle before my personality, it is only a loving God who can give me inner peace and emotional stability.
WE JUST TRY, p.242
My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.
-The Best Of Bill, pp. 46-47
As long as I try, with all my heart and soul, to pass along to others what has been passed along to me, and do not demand anything in return, life is good to me. Before entering this program of Alcoholics Anonymous I was never able to give without demanding something in return. Little did I know that, once I began to give freely of myself, I would begin to receive, without ever expecting or demanding anything at all. What I receive today is the gift of “stability,” as Bill did: stability in my A.A. program; within myself; but most of all, in my relationship with my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.
TOWARD EMOTIONAL FREEDOM
Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 80
Willingness is a peculiar thing for me in that, over a period of time, it seems to come, first with awareness, but then with a feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some action. As I reflected on taking the Eighth Step, my willingness to make amends to others came as a desire for forgiveness, of others and myself.
I felt forgiveness toward others after I became aware of my part in the difficulties of relationships. I wanted to feel the peace and serenity described in the Promises. From working the first seven Steps, I became aware of whom I had harmed and that I had been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my relationships with my fellow human beings, I knew I would have to change. I wanted to learn to live in harmony with myself and others so that I could also live in emotional freedom. The beginning of the end to my isolation – from my fellows and from God – came when I wrote my Eighth Step list.
A FRAME OF REFERENCE
Referring to our list [inventory] again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 67
There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this Step before, because once I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation and that it was the correct thing to do.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.