FREEDOM FROM FEAR
When, with God’s help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 122
Material values ruled my life for many years during my active alcoholism. I believed that all of my possessions would make me happy, yet I still felt bankrupt after I obtained them. When I first came into A. A., I found out about a new way of living. As a result of learning to trust others, I began to believe in a power greater than myself. Having faith freed me from the bondage of self. As material gains were replaced by the gifts of the spirit, my life became manageable. I then chose to share my experiences with other alcoholics.
WE STAND–OR FALL–TOGETHER
… no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.
-Alcoholics Anonymous, p.563
Just as the Twelve Steps of A.A. are written in a specific sequence for a reason, so it is with the Twelve Traditions. The First Step and the First Tradition attempt to instill in me enough humility to allow me a chance at survival. Together they are the basic foundation upon which the Steps and Traditions that follow are built. It is a process of ego deflation which allows me to grow as an individual through the Steps, and as a contributing member of a group through the Traditions. Full acceptance of the First Tradition allows me to set aside personal ambitions, fears and anger when they are in conflict with the common good, thus permitting me to work with others for our mutual survival. Without Tradition One I stand little chance of maintaining the unity required to work with others effectively, and I also stand to lose the remaining Traditions, the Fellowship, and my life.
A NEW LIFE
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. Life will mean something at last.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 152
Life is better without alcohol. A.A. and the presence of a Higher Power keeps me sober, but the grace of God does even better; it brings service into my life. Contact with the A.A. program teaches me a new and greater understanding of what Alcoholics Anonymous is and what it does, but most importantly, it helps to show me who I am: an alcoholic who needs the constant experience of the Alcoholics Anonymous program so that I may live a life given to me by my Higher Power.
PEACE OF MIND
Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God’s help and guidance–meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may?
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p p. 86-87
My belief in a Higher Power is an essential part of my work on Step Nine; forgiveness, timing, and right motives are the other ingredients. My willingness to do the Step is a growing experience that opens the door for new and honest relationships with the people I have harmed. My responsible action brings me closer to the spiritual principles of the program — love and service. Peace of mind, serenity, and a stronger faith are sure to follow.
REPAIRING THE DAMAGE
Good judgment, careful sense of timing, courage and prudence – these are the qualities we shall need when we take Step Nine.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 83
To make amends can be viewed two ways: first, that of repairing damage, for if I have damaged my neighbor’s fence, I “make a mend,” and that is a direct amend; the second way is by modifying my behavior, for if my actions have harmed someone. I make a daily effort to cause no further harm. I “mend my ways,” and that is an indirect amend. Which is the best approach? The only right approach, provided that I am causing no further harm in so doing, is to do both. If harm is done, then I simply “mend my ways.” To take action in this manner assures me of making honest amends.
I AM RESPONSIBLE
For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87
In recovery, and through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learn that the very thing I fear is my freedom. It comes from my tendency to recoil from taking responsibility for anything: I deny, I ignore, I blame, I avoid. Then one day, I look, I admit, I accept. The freedom, the healing and the recovery I experience is in the looking, admitting and accepting. I learn to say, “Yes, I am responsible.” When I can speak those words with honesty and sincerity, then I am free.
MAKING AMENDS
Above all, we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87
To have courage, to be unafraid, are gifts of my recovery. They empower me to ask for help and to go forth in making my amends with a sense of dignity and humility. Making amends may require a certain amount of honesty that I feel I lack, yet with the help of God and the wisdom of others, I can reach within and find the strength to act. My amends may be accepted, or they may not, but after they are completed I can walk with a sense of freedom and know that, for today, I am responsible.
RECOVERY BY PROXY?
They [the Promises] will always materialize if we work for them.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS p. 84
Sometimes I think: “Making these amends is going too far! No one should have to humble himself like that!” However, it is this very humbling of myself that brings me that much closer to the sunlight of the spirit. A.A. is the only hope I have if I am to continue healing and gain a life of happiness, friendship and harmony.
OPENING NEW DOORS
They [the Promises] are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84
The Promises talked about in this passage are slowly coming to life for me. What has given me hope is putting Step Nine into action. The Step has allowed me to see and set goals for myself in recovery. Old habits and behaviors die hard. Working Step Nine enables me to close the door on the drunk I was, and to open new avenues for myself as a sober alcoholic. Making direct amends is crucial for me. As I repair relationships and behavior of the past, I am better able to live a sober life! Although I have some years of sobriety, there are times when the “old stuff” from the past needs to be taken care of, and Step Nine always works, when I work it.
“WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION”
We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
I could not manage life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My “ultimate sin” dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered entirely to God. Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a freedom I have never before experienced. I’ve opened my heart and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know – a humbling fact – but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding existence. Just for today, I strive to live His will for me – soberly. I thank God that today I can choose not to drink. Today, life is beautiful!
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.